The BTT Nations Convenience Store
by LordCooler
Summary: Welcome to the BTT Nations Convenience Store. Here, our motto is "convenience to the customer, one way or another!" Why drive all the way to the grocery market when you can make a quick stop at our pit stop? The Nations Convenience Store has the same brand names as the larger stores, as well as fresh coffee, pizza and ice cream in case our customers are hungry too! Come on in!
1. Chapter 1

**This is just a little short work of one shots i'm doing everytime I need to write some pure comedy Hetalia. There are no parings,no drama, no antagonists; just comedy chapters dealing with the stressful life of working at a convenience store :P I wrote these characters with their english dub voices in my head, so sorry sub-watchers :/ I tried to get everyone's accents and attitude right, so tell me how I did :D**

**I think I came up with the most interesting crew with the best possiblities, but I guess we'll see haha **

* * *

Welcome to the BTT Nations Convenience Store. Here, our motto is "convenience to the customer, one way or another!"

Why drive all the way to the grocery market when you can make a quick stop at our pit stop? The Nations Convenience Store has the same brand names as the larger stores, as well as fresh coffee and pizza in case our customers are hungry too! The store is open to everyone and our staff is prepared to make your every visit one you will remember!

* * *

The Staff

"What's up losers, it's me, the awesome Prussia! I own und manage the BTT Convenience Store with France und Spain. Yea, I know, how vere those two deadbeats able to pitch in the cash to start this place up in the first place? Vell, that's not important now, so shut up und don't vorry about it! I manage the store most of the veek during the day, but since Spain sleeps most of the day, he und France split up the night shifts, but who cares about them, this is MY monologue! Anyways, I have to look over the _other _deadbeats who vork here: uptight England, cry baby Romano, creepy Russia, und…oh schnitzel! I forgot, I have to go brief the new employee today!"

…

"Um, yes…well then. Salutations everyone, England here. Yes, I work at the BTT Convenience store, as you've probably already guessed. I'm a little low on funds right now, and I don't believe borrowing in today's economical state of the world is the smart choice to make (like a fellow nation across the Atlantic…). Its honest work and the hours aren't bad enough to make me pull off a France and go on strike, so I can't complain. It's a long way from home, but the Italian and I managed to form an agreement to split the rent for an apartment; not easy living with him, I can tell you that. What do I do around here? I run the register, make a pizza and some ice cream, make some new coffee every twenty minutes or so, the usual for a shop such as this. Working here can get on one's nerves, I assure you, as my coworkers are all lunatics. I hope this new coworker is somebody at least partially sane…"

…

"Eh? Whatta the hell do you want, huh? Imma busy here, can't you see? I do the same as fancy-pants Britain, working the damn cash box, makin'a pizza and ice cream, whatever! Freakn' Prussia always yellin', freakn' _Russia_ always-a smilin'! I cant'a stand them! But Spain got me this job, so I'm not just gonna walk away. I already do too much around here, so this new guy bettah take all the crummy jobs…"

…

"Is it my turn? Right then, hello everybody! It's me, Russia! It looks like I'm still a little slow with money, so France got me this job in exchange for not completely razing his country to the ground when I become largest world power, haha. Pretty good deal, da? Prussia doesn't usually let me work the register, so I spend a lot of time stocking shelves or cleaning store up. It is fun being with England and Romano; they are funny and make me jolly. I can't wait to meet new employee, it's exciting, da?"

* * *

**Next chapter is the new employee, but for now I hope I got everyone in character right, this is my first time writing these guys ^^'**

**Please review, this one is actually important on how I can improve :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, I've decided I am going to use both country names and human names since using the country names is going to get very stale haha xD But the new employee is arriving today!**

**For those who don't know:**

**England/Britain: Arthur Kirkland**

**Prussia: Gilbert Beilschmidt**

**Russia: Ivan Braginski**

**Romano: ****Lovino Vargas**

* * *

The New Employee

_BEEP BEEP BEEP_

"Ugh…?"

The blonde haired rolled Englishman over in his bed. _Seven already,_ he pondered sleepily, _well then, off to wake the Italian…_

England lifted his groggy body out of his nice and warm wool blankets (in the design of the Union Jack of course) to start his early morning ritual he had developed after months of living with Southern Italy. He shifted his legs off the mattress. Bad idea, the hardwood floor was freezing, and he soon paid the price for not wearing socks to bed to prevent such tragedies. His body trembled as a shiver went up his spine from the frozen paneling. Well, at least he was awake.

He crept through the door, shuffled down the hallway, and stood in front the room with the "Keep the **** out" sign hanging off the doorknob. Sighing, he turned the brass handle and slowly walked in. The room was a mess, but considering its residence this was actually clean for him, and the work uniform was scattered on the floor. It was the standard uniform worn by everyone: a royal blue polo, a hat of the same color with BTT embroidered, and tan khakis. Prussia wore a black polo and hat to signify he was the manager, and for some reason he allowed Russia to keep his scarf as part of the uniform.

The blonde gentleman pinched the bridge of his nose in disgust; this was the one outfit that was meant to stay clean. Just as expected, there was Romano, sleeping like a rock, drool on his face, and his alarm clock practically screaming at him to get up.

"Nothing could wake this idiot," England contemplated as he shook his head at the sight before him. He turned off the alarm, grabbed the unused pillow next to the Italian's head and smothered it on the sleeping Romano's face.

_I still can't believe this is the only way,_ the blonde groaned in his head. This morning ritual was getting old; his roommate should learn to wake up by himself.

After a few moments, the Italian started to squirm until finally flailing his arms in frenzy, muffling profanities behind the stifling pillow. Taking that as the cue, England lifted the fluffy thing and turned to walk out the door, "Coffee and tea will be ready soon, I could make some scones if you-"

"Keep those nasty things away from me," Romano grumbled.

"Just be out of bed soon, the new employee is arriving today, we should at least look presentable."

"Yea, whatever, I don't give a crapola about the next lost soul," the brown haired nation muttered before instantly falling asleep again. Britain's eyebrow twitched in annoyance as he grabbed the pillow again, _This bloke doesn't learn…_

* * *

China picked up a snow shovel. Examining it carefully, he was shocked to see the "Made in China" sticker missing. He turned and glared at the unsuspecting Prussia.

"What is your problem," the dark haired man barked, "Why are none of these goods in this store from my country!"

Prussia retaliated in kind, "Chill bamboo-breath, unlike America, zhe BTT Convenience store's manufacturers don't rely on child labor!"

"Bamboo-breath!" China roared, "Well at least I'm still a country!"

"Oh yea? At least I didn't lose my land to England und France because I couldn't control a drug problem," the albino sneered.

China gasped. "You know there was more to it than that! England was the douche who started it all," he shouted.

Giving a triumphant laugh, Prussia nodded his head towards the door, "Speak of zhe devil. Fancy-pants, cry baby, you're both late!"

Deciding to end the argument China left, but not before narrowing his eyes towards the Englishmen as he passed by (England tried, but couldn't ignore the chilly feeling).

Romano gave a yawn, "Would you calm'a down already? Britain here tried to kill me in my sleep."

"I was trying to wake you up again after _you_ snoozed off right in front of me!" the blonde pointed his finger accusingly.

"Shut up, both of you und clock in already," the white haired manager commanded, "the new employee arrives today, so shut up und shape up!"

"Yes sir," they both grumbled.

"Vhy can't you two be more like Russia, he's alvays here on time," Prussia shook his head in disappointment.

The cheery faced Russian patted Romano and England on the back, "Don't mind him today, he's just cranky because new employee is late."

While Romano shivered in fear at his touch, England was curious about Ivan's words, "He's late? That's not very professional. Do you know who it is?"

"Of course I do, Mr. Prussia told me this morning," he laughed, and then went on with stocking the shelves without a single word. Arthur's mouth hung open with disbelief, _That's all he's going to tell me?_

Before he could ask who it was Prussia came by and scheduled him to man the register.

* * *

England held his head in his hand in boredom. It was a slow day; barely anybody had come in today. Russia was just about done stocking items, Romano had finished making the latest pizza to put in the display case, and Prussia finally got done balancing the safe. And that's when the door opened up.

"Yo, Britain, how's it hanging? Hahahaha!"

Caught off guard, the blonde's arm slipped from under him and his face crashed down on the counter. He looked up, and his eyes widened in disbelief, "America?"

"You bet!" came the response as America gave him his signature thumbs up, "Nice hat, dork! Hahaha!"

England's face went from surprise to weariness, "Why are you here? We don't sell anything that China made."

America laughed again, "Dude, I'm not here to buy anything!"

Arthur raised his eyebrow, "…what?"

Hearing the ruckus, Prussia walked in from his office and noticed the new country at the counter, "America! You are late!"

This time, the other two employees were paying attention as to what was going on. Russia kept smiling while Romano looked back and forth between his boss and the cheery nation he was yelling at, "Eh? Hey Prussia, whats'a goin' on?"

"Gentlemen, this tardy moron here is your new coworker," Gilbert explained.

Thunder clouds came over England's head and a rain of dread poured over him. America? Working here? With HIM? Oh…oh God no…

Russia still had a smile plastered on his face, "You're finally here Mr. America."

Romano's eye twitched, "Wait a second, why do you need to work here?"

America scratched the back of his head, "Well you see, hahaha, I kind of owe a ton of people money so instead of borrowing it all to pay it back my boss said I had to earn it myself, hahahaha!"

"Prussia you can't be serious" Arthur slammed his hands on the counter, "He is one of the most incompetent, foolish, narcissistic-"

"Don't you dare question my awesomeness," the German spat, "Last time I vorked vith him, he beat your sorry ass, so I don't vant to hear it!"

"Hahahaha, you totally burned him Prussia," the young nation supported his new boss.

The albino smirked, "See? I like him already."

England's hands ran through his hair, _This can't be happening…_

* * *

**So the new employee has arrived! Tell me what I need to work on. From now on, it will be mostly one shots concerning the store and all the employees, including America now :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okee doke, chapter 3!**

* * *

Why Russia Stocks Items

"_Milk, milk, milk, milk  
milk, milk, milk!  
We sell  
milk, milk, milk, milk  
milk, milk, milk  
We sell  
milk, milk, milk, milk  
milk, milk, milk  
We sell  
milk, milk, milk, milk  
milk, milk, milk  
We sell-"_

"Shut…_up,_ America!" the green eyed blonde at the register finally snapped. America turned around from stocking the coolers, almost like a child being told he couldn't have a certain toy.

"What's the matter with you?" He pouted, "We sell milk, so I'm singing about milk. We all can't be stuck in the rock and roll age like you."

England gasped, "How dare you! At least it's better than the benign prattle and lack of instruments from your mainstream music!"

Soon both heard Prussia yell from the office, "Quit the pissing match you two und get to vork, you sound like an old married couple!"

The two nations exchanged one final glare before returning to their duties, both believing they had each won the argument. Romano, witnessing the whole thing, casually scoffed at each of them while making a pizza, "At least you both can agree that your food sucks…"

England slammed his hands on the counter, "At least I don't overeat like the two of you."

"At least I didn't get my ass kicked by Germany in the past century," America chided in.

All three then heard Prussia, "At least I'm not in a vulnerable position to be fired if I don't stop arguing with each other and making noise!"

England immediately started to make fresh coffee while Romano whistled away and continued tossing the pizza dough.

The Prussian shook his head, "Mein Gott, vhy can't the drei (a/n: three in german) of you just vork in an orderly sense like Russia?"

The bickering coworkers took a look at the smiling country humming as he sorted shampoo bottles along the shelves. He seemed to protect himself from America's "singing" by wrapping his scarf around his ears.

Prussia smirked, "See? Look at zhat! Happy as a young voman who vas just introduced to my awesomeness."

_Well, now I know why he and France get along so well,_ England noted.

But America wasn't quite finished, "C'mon Prussia, all I was doing was singing about milk-"

"America, Achtung!" the German commanded. The young nation quickly stood at attention, remembering his training from two hundred years ago. Prussia continued with his orders, "Finish with zhe coolers, and no not sing about milk, am I clear?"

The new employee gave a shaky salute before speeding off in fear. England stood at the register, astounded, "How did you do that? I've never seen America take orders from _anybody…_"

His manager gave out a hearty laugh, "Little America bit off more zhan he could chew vhen he asked for mein help during his revolution. I gave him the training of his life, ehahaha! Ahhh, it vas fun seeing him scramble around, scared at vhat would happen if he couldn't keep up."

Prussia continued to reminisce as he returned to his office. When he closed the door, England heard a familiar beat coming from the coolers…

"_Orange juice, orange juice  
We sell  
orange juice, orange juice…"_

* * *

It was 3 o'clock, at that meant it was England's break time. Arthur's spirits rose; he had made some especially good beef stew last night and was planning to finish the rest for lunch. But who could he ask to cover for him? Romano was busy with the delivery truck for more supplies, Prussia was making the schedule for next month, and Russia was not allowed to work the register…

"Ugh," the Englishman sighed as his face fell, "Hey America."

His old colony finished downing his soda before replying, "What's up dude?"

"I know you just got off your break, but could you man the register while I take mine?" he asked politely. Thinking about his lunch, he went into a bliss state, "I made the most perfect beef stew, and I've been waiting to finally finish off the rest of that holy broth I made from scratch-"

America was not going to hear another one of England's babbles about his food. He shooed him away from the counter, "Alright, alright, just go already, you can leave it with me."

With a delighted face, the UK wandered off into the break room. America straightened his hat and polo with a look of confidence. He pumped his fist in determination, "Okay! My first time on register! Bring it on unsuspecting slaves of corporate consumerism, hahaha!"

Suddenly, his abdomen began to rumble. His eager smile turned into a trembling grimace, "Oh geez, I knew I shouldn't have eaten that supersized double chili angus burger with hot sauce…crap…"

Holding his stomach, America's head scanned the entire store. The only person who could watch the register at the moment was Russia.

_Wait a minute, _he thought to himself, _What did Prussia say about Russia and the register…hey! They're names rhyme, hahaha! _

His bowels painfully reminded him on the matter at hand. America cringed and weakly called over to the scarf wearing nation, "Dude, Russia! I need you to watch the register while I release the biggest crap ever!"

Ivan was a bit hesitant. He scratched his cheek, "Well…Mr. Prussia says I'm not allowed to be at the cash register…"

America started jumping up and down, "Dude, c'mon, it'll only be for a few minutes! I'm seriously going to poop my pants!"

Russia agreed, and America bolted for the bathroom door with a trail of fire behind him. A little unsure, the Russian tried to familiarize himself with the different buttons and functions of the money machine. He played around, and soon got the hang of it. Returning to his usual smile, he was eager for someone to come in, "This will be easy, da?"

In fulfillment of his wishes, a customer soon came through the doors. Across the entire store, Russia shouted a friendly greeting, "Welcome customer! It is very good to see you today!"

The man who walked in stopped short, surprised at the cheerful employee. As he noticed the Russian's unmoving, unblinking stare, he tried to ignore the employee and started looking for what he came for. All around the store, he could feel the purple eyes burning into the back of his skull, and every once in a while, he would turn to see the employee at the register; still smiling, still staring. After gathering the last of his items, he slowly walked to the counter; closer and closer to the strange man in a scarf and his seemingly innocent smile.

When the customer arrived, Russia scanned each item while never taking his eyes off the funny little man before him. He was a bit jittery; Ivan guessed he drank too much coffee.

As the last item was finally scanned, the man was near trembling and could swear there was an evil aura around the taller man at the register towering above him.

_*DING*_

Russia saw the man jolt at the noise of the cash register ringing up the final price. He put the groceries in a bag and held his hand out to the man, "That will be twenty-"

The man snapped and handed him all the money in his pocket, "Just take it!"

Russia's eyes widened, "But sir, this is more than enough."

The man had to get out of there; away from this terrifying cashier. "Keep the change! It's a tip," he cried before turning tail and running out of the store.

Russia stood there silent with the money in his hand for a few moments. He smiled once again, sorted out the change, and put the extra in his pocket. It was then he noticed the bag of groceries still sitting on the counter.

"That funny man left his items…I'll just hold on to them for when he comes back."

* * *

**Well, now we know why he isn't supposed to work register xD Hope readers are enjoying this :D **


End file.
